Single and happy

Few months ago I wrote an article. Just for myself. About my break up. About broken heart and time I would need to get over it. You couldn't read it, because I never published it. Tonight I decided to have another look at this whole situation.

Break ups are never easy. Unless you are an heartless, selfish, egoist bitch. I believe I am not. It's supposed to be easier to get through the break up if you are the one who decided to finish it, right? Well it wasn't that smooth.

Step 1 - Tears, sorrow, pain 

I cried. We all do, I believe so. That moment when you realize something ended, the loss and pain you can feel and that powerlessness... Oh my god... Absolutely awful times, end of your life. Time, when you feel like your heart just cracked and it's bleeding. So you cry, thinking about great old times, remembering all joyful moments and beautiful memories and questioning yourself why this has happened to you... No matter what was the reason for the split up...

Step 2 - cheesy movies, chocolate and self pity

After you have cried your heart out, spent nights thinking like 'what-if-..' kind of thinking, you will start your typical after break up ceremony. It still contains a bit of crying, but not that much as in the first stage. You will watch disgustingly romantic movies, eat chocolate and wonder why you can't find true love. Why everyone else can be happy, find soulmate and live happily ever after, just you... Oh, also, your playlist will consist of all of the break up songs, so you can feel even more depressed... I like to call this black times. You feel down, abandoned, lonely, frustrated, helpless. Sometimes, angry, furious, disappointed even confused about what to do with your future life.. Is there any life after this..?

Step 3 - alright, this is not the end of the world - accept it

You actually stop crying. Eventually, you realize it's not that bed to finish something what (for whatever reason) didn't work anyway and you can calm down. No more tears left. So, unless something really big happens, you are without tears all days and nights (Most of them). You will slip into, what I like to call zombie mode. It's not the reality. You are in recovery. It's just like when you wake up from really long dream. And you are trying to figure out what's going on in your life. Zombie mode, as I like to call this, usually means that you are able to go to work/ school, eat (not much and not you care about that at this point, anyway), and get some sleep (maybe). At this point, you are not living, but you are surviving now. Congratulations.

Step 4 -  I am gonna live or.. 'Me, myself and I' time

After spending some time in zombie mode, you will start something new. Open your eyes. See? There is still sunshine behind those clouds. And now, you can start your new life. Just on your own. 'Me, myself and I time' means, that you will spend more time in front of the mirror. Now, I would like to give you an advise. Smile. It doesn't hurt. Trust me. Just try it! :)

Please, don't forget that you don't want to be or even feel lonely, so stay in touch (or after zombie mode I should say get back in touch) with your friends. It doesn't matter how many or how good friends you have at this point, any company would help. You want to socialize, maybe meet new people and make new friends. Go out, drink (responsibly ;)), dance, go for a walks, find something you will fall in love with (not a new boyfriend material, we are not there yet! :)). It can be something you always wanted to do, but never got chance to do it. Whatever it is, go for it, try to find it and do it.

In my case, I absolutely love my work out sessions. Started 10-15 minutes every day. Slowly added minutes and now I am on 1-1.5 hours. (see? am proud of myself) Exercise will bring you endorphins. Remember, hormone of happiness? Before you start with excuses, I am not spending any money and I do it because I want to, not that I have to. That makes me stay motivated and enjoy it even more.

You can sing, dance, paint, write, read, go for walks, hiking, do some sports... Additionally, you might find yourself doing more shopping then ever before... And I am not talking about grocery shopping. However, speaking about this... This is the best time to start eat healthy. As you are single, you can eat whatever you want, whenever you want. As you are not seeing anyone new, you are not going on dates, not eating out for dinners... Why not turn this into something positive? I believe this is the best time to start your completely new YOU.

Now, look at this. You got over the break up itself. You are doing something what you love, you are more active, you eat healthier. I bet you are feeling better. Well, believe me, I do!

 Step 5 - be happy 

It's a decision. Every day you can choose to be happy. Accept it. Learn it. You've survived it. Break up is over, you are now stronger, healthier, maybe even better person. Don't regret it happened. Be happy and smile, because it happened. Be thankful for all good you had, for everything you have learned. And remember, everything happens for a reason. Think positive, stay optimist and keep doing whatever makes you feel happy.

''Happiness is not something ready made, it comes from your own actions.'' - Dalai Lama

P.S. Massive thanks to my friends for being here when I needed it the most!

Your happy, single, Ivi :)